Yay for being home! My voice is gone - too much karaokee - but what can you do? Sorry to everyone who's stories I haven't commented on but I'm just getting back into things tonight!
Hopefully I'll be caught up to speed and back in business tomorrow. This is kinda short and kinda not good but... it was needed for what's coming =)
Hope you enjoy it anyway!
Whisper - A Fine Frenzy
It wasn't that he wasn't completely exhausted, because he was. After coming back from Emily's apartment - Mike in tow - they'd made it home just time to catch Cosmo waking up.
Whatever was wrong with her Brooks had been up almost all night trying to get her back to sleep. Now, that it was day time, she was out in the living room with Mike.
He was watching her in an attempt to give Brooks some must needed rest, but it wasn't helping. Everytime Brooks felt his eye lids get heavy and they began to close, his mind began to wander back to his off-limits neighbour.
It wasn't even so much that she was actually'off-limits', Brooks had just painted her into that box and now it was impossible to take her back out.
Before he had done it simply because he thought she was some kind of crazy, controlling, bitch that just wanted to ruin his fun... it seemed like a reasonable assumption at the time that he wouldn't want to be anywhere near her, ever.
All that had changed though, with the arrival of Cosmo.
Emily had gone above and beyond anything that Brooks would have asked of her. She'd not only helped him out by watching his daughter when he had no one else to, but she'd helped him and Mike too, and somehow managed to create a deep-rooted connection with Cosmo in the process.
It was almost odd to think that if Brooks hadn't found out he was a father, Emily would still be nothing more than the crazy girl across the hall.
With a deep, loud exhale, he pulled the covers up over his head in an attempt to stop the filtering day light from finding him.
His blind was still drawn shut but he could tell by the sunlight slipping through the cracks around the window frame.
The blankets enabled him to be consumed once more by darkness, but they couldn’t stop his mind from racing.
Now that he was past the initial shock and excitement of everything he’d discovered that evening, he was left with an unbearable amount of emptiness and confusion.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to ignore the heat of the thick covers as he allowed his mind to continue to wander around Emily, and all the changes their relationship had gone through. He'd be lying if he said that Cosmo was the only person she'd made a deep connection with. She'd become someone that he could rely on, someone that he could trust and have faith in; there weren't a lot of women he could say that about.
And that had been enough, or at least he'd thought that was where their relationship would end.
He hated to admit not only that it was possible he was wrong on that account, but why he was wrong. He should have better self control then what he was displaying now. After all, Emily hadn't changed. She was the exact same girl that she had always been as long as he'd known her, so if there was a wild side to her, it had always been there.
However, regardless as to whether or not she had changed; this discovery changed everything for him.
How was he suppose to be able to look at her the same way again? He couldn't. He knew it now without even being in the same room as her, that his mind would fall into the gutter as soon as he saw her. Even if she didn't realize it, she was already having a strange influence on Brooks.
She was suppose to be his neighbour, his nanny, not someone he wanted to be on...
Brooks still couldn't be sure why all those things were in her room. Was it all work? All play? Or both? It didn't even matter though, one of the reasons Brooks had never been able to make relationships last was mostly because of sex. Sure, there were girls that he'd been able to talk into things, or girls that were intoxicated enough to do what he wanted them to... but he'd never met someone who he was sure would be into the same things as he was.
Everything... the toys, the costumes, the whole concept of being able to take a dominating role in a sexual situation was too much for him to ignore.
But of course that wasn't all.
Seeing this kinky side of her had changed his mindset about her completely. He already knew that he could get along with her, now that they'd made it to this point in their relationship, and he already knew he liked spending time with her. If he combined that with all the things he now wanted to do to her... why couldn't he finally have a relationship that worked out?
But then that lead to another situation all together. Did he even want a relationship with her? More than that… would she even want one with him? Everything had changed for Brooks in the past few weeks, everything. But that was all in his life, Emily’s own personal life hadn’t really changed. Sure, she was spending more time at their apartment, but she was still doing exactly what she had been doing before.
So why would she changed what she was doing now?
There was no indication on her part that she would, or that she’d even want to. If Brooks even attempted to start anything, he’d be putting himself way out into an uncomfortable position; a place he hadn’t been in before.
What were his options then? The way he saw it he had two. He either said something to her, or he didn’t.
If he didn’t, then he’d be playing it safe, and most likely, nothing would happen. He’d go on and she’d go on and that would be that… but would he be ok with that? Did the risk of putting his feelings out into the open, outweigh the possibility of passing up the opportunity?
And what if he did tell her, and she admitted that she liked him too? Could he ignore the fact that she’d been selling her body to strange men, and more than that, would she stop?
Could he even ask her to stop?
Even if it wasn’t something he approved of, it was her livelihood… she made a living having sex with strangers, so was it even possible for her to do something else?
Maybe this was one of those ‘you’re not suppose to try and change a girl’ conversations he had had with his mom. Of course, if his mom knew what it was he was trying to change, she’d probably approve.
It was all too much for him, especially in the mindset he was in now. He was too tired to get up but too distracted to fall asleep. He need to figure something out, and he needed to do it now.
Without much trouble he was able to get Emily’s work number from the landlord who lived on the bottom floor.
He now sat on the bottom of his bed with the number in his left hand, the phone in his right. He wasn’t even sure what he was going to say, or where he was calling. Was it an escort service or some kind of secret phone number she used for clients only? He could have just called her cell phone, but he felt like this would kill two birds with one stone, he could tell her they needed to talk and she would already assume that he knew the truth about her… that way when she got home, she’d know he already had all the information.
Clearing his throat he punched in the number and then dropped down onto his back, pressing the phone to his ear.
The girl who answered was talking so quickly Brooks could hardly make her out, and he mumbled out a random string of filler noise before he could get the balls to say anything. “Hi. Is Emily there?”
“Ummm she’s with someone right now, can I take a message?”
“Sure… you can tell her that ah… it’s Mike… Green.” Brooks closed his eyes and silently cursed his stupidity. His original idea was to try and get a hold of her, if he couldn’t he’d just hang up; but leaving a message was force of habit.
Saying Mike’s name was also a force of habit when he didn’t want someone to know it was him… of course now when Emily asked Mike why he called, well… they’d both look like idiots.
“Like, Mike Green… the hockey player?”
The girl started to giggle and Brooks sat up, ready to hang up the phone. “That’s so funny! I mean, I know everyone always goes on about how awesome she is but… I guess word travels fast with you hockey boys, doesn’t it?”
“The guys she’s with right now is one of your team-mates. I mean… this is what? His fourth, fifth time getting together with her? I guess he’s been telling you guys all about it, right? I hear the kind of things you talk about in those locker-rooms.”
Brooks could hardly speak. He mumbled another incoherent string of noises before he hung up.
He stood up slowly, before throwing the phone across the room and running his hands through his hair as he watched it shatter.
Maybe he could forgive her for fucking strangers, but he couldn’t forgive this.