Wednesday, May 5, 2010

8. The Things You Don't Know...

I don't know Spanish. I don't speak Spanish. I don't trust Google Translate, but hey, we do what we have to. Any Spanish in this update is not important so, don't worry if you don't understand it or if it doesn't make sense... I promise it's just filler lol.


Even though Emily had managed to put the crib together with expert hands, it hadn’t seen much use in the past three nights. Instead of sleeping lots and spending enough time getting rest, Cosmo preferred to keep Brooks awake. Constantly.

He tired not to let it bother him or make him cranky, after all, isn’t this what all parents went through? Of course a lot of parents didn’t spend their free time getting slammed around a rink by other grown men, only to come home and survive on two hours of sleep a night.
That was probably why it was no surprise, that when Emily brought up the idea of a ‘nanny’, Brooks was quick to agree.

And so now he waited in the living room, stretched out on the couch with Cosmo sitting quietly on his chest, as Mike squatted in front of the TV. “Do you think these baby Einstein movies work?” He asked as he held a DVD up in his hands, glancing over his shoulder and directing the question at Brooks.

“No” He replied simply as he reached out with a hand, steadying Cosmo and trying to prevent her from falling off of him.

Mike jumped up and turned around, the case still in his hand. “What?! Why not?! Why are you so cynical about everything? I saw on Oprah the other day that these were suppose to be really good for baby development like… make them smarter and all that junk.”

Brooks sighed and rolled his eyes, causing Cosmo to giggle as he grabbed her under the arms and hoisted it into the air. “Look Mike, Einstein didn’t have a DVD. He had a yoyo and dirt… you either have a genius or you don’t…” He explained simply, watching Cosmo’s face carefully as he spun her around, making sure that there was no fear, before he added, “…and judging by the fact that she laughs at your jokes. We don’t.”

“Hey! There’s nothing wrong with my Jokes!” Mike groaned as he headed into the kitchen for his weekly cleaning ritual.
The door clicked, but Brooks didn’t bother to get up; he already knew who it was, or at least he had a suspicion. His belief was confirmed when Mike called, “Hey Emily.”
The mere mention of her name causing Cosmo to squeal in delight as she flailed her arms around.

“Em-me! Em-me!” She cried, steadying herself enough that she could reach in the general direction Emily was coming in.
Brooks held her up higher, allowing Emily to take her out of his arms and cuddle her.

“Hi pretty girl! Are you gonna come have fun with me today?” She cooed as she rested Cosmo on her hip, as she headed into the kitchen to see what Mike was doing.

She watched him for a minute as he held a garbage bag in one hand, his other hand, busy rooting through the fridge.
Every few minutes he’d pull something out and discard it, seemingly with no rhyme or reason. “Umm, Mike-” Emily began to ask but Brooks cut in.

“Don’t ask him.”

She glanced at Brooks before turning around to look at Mike again. His next item was some red jell-o. “Mike, what are you doing?” She blurted before Brooks could stop her, her curiosity getting the better of her.

“I’m cleaning out the fridge.” He explained matter-of-factly, not bothering to turn form his duties to answer her.

Sighing, Emily pressed on. “Yes, I see that but, why? All that stuff is still good to eat, why are you throwing it out?”
Mike pulled out a few more things before he tied the bag shut and stepped back, pulling the fridge door open so Emily could see for herself. “So wait, you-”

“If it’s not green, it doesn’t stay in the fridge.” He grinned in response, and sure enough, the entire contents of the fridge were now green. Well, everything accept for a few jars of baby food at the bottom; at least Mike had the common sense to not throw those out.
Emily didn’t bother to say anything, as Mike looked at her expectantly. She glanced at Brooks and he only shrugged in a ‘told you so’ manner, before heading back into the living room.

She followed after him and didn’t bother to question Mike any further. Instead she sat down on the couch beside Brooks, positioning Cosmo on the cushion between them.
Nobody said anything as they flicked through the channels, coming to stop on ‘In the Night Garden’, which held Cosmo’s attention enough that Emily felt comfortable starting a conversation with him.
“Heard any news on when your mom’s coming to town?”

“Nope, not yet anyway…” Brooks answered honestly, already having had this conversation with her the day before. In fact, he hadn’t even talked to his mom since their brief conversation where he informed her what was going on.

Emily nodded, not bothering to press the issue, she wasn’t sure what his relationship was like with his mother and she didn’t want to get him agitated before the day he had lined up. Emily was going to be watching Cosmo for him, which was why she had gone over so early, so that he and Mike could interview a few people for the position of ’Nanny’.
Part of Emily wanted to stay for the process, figuring that neither of them would know what to look for in a potential care-giver; but she bit her tongue and decided it was best not to stick her noise where it most likely, didn’t belong.

She left a few minutes later, with Cosmo in tow, their destination the park and the nearby Baskin Robins.



“Hi! I’m Aaron, it’s so good to finally meet you in person!” The tall, tan twenty-something exclaimed excitedly as Brooks opened the door for him and ushered him inside.
He stood awkwardly in the living room; looking more like an Abercrombie model than an Au Pair. His hair was styled in a dirty blond fohawk, and he was sporting a tight white shirt and black vest, complimenting the tight black jeans he was wearing.

Brooks first impression was that he was probably gay. Not because he dressed nice or because he seemed to have some kind of feminine swagger, but because he kept giving Brooks ’that’ smile. The kind he always got from girls when they were trying to seduce him with their eyes.
Apparently Mike noticed too, causing him to cross his arms over his chest as he pouted; apparently unhappy in Aaron’s sudden interest in Brooks. “So… why are you qualified?” Mike snapped, in a tone that lead Brooks to believe no matter what the answer, Mike had already made up his mind as to whether or not they should hire this guy. That answer was most likely no.

“Oh well, I was an Au Pair in New York for three years, before I moved to become a personal assistant for Michael Grey, a very successful law attorney in New York City.” He explained, directing his answer at Brooks, and only Brooks. “I looked after three children, two girls and a boy, and we got along fantastically. I love kids, so I don’t have a problem spending lots of time with them… and my god you have fantastic pecks.” Aaron side as his eyes lingered on Brooks’ well built chest.

“Umm… thanks…?” Brooks said, his eyes darting between the gawking Aaron and the scowling Mike; his gratitude coming out more as a question than a legitimate thanks.

“Brooks. Kitchen. Now.” Mike grunted, turning on his feet and stomping off into the kitchen.

Brooks gave Aaron one last awkward smile before he moved around him, leaving a wide berth, and followed Mike into the kitchen. “What?” Brooks asked in an annoyed whisper.

“We’re not hiring him.” Mike said quickly, his whisper answering back with just as much annoyance. “Not.”

Brooks shrugged and glanced into the living room where Aaron was texting frantically on his phone. “I don’t know… he seems nice enough, and he looked after three kids, for three years…”

“You just want to hire him because he thinks you’re hot!”

“Oh, please!”

“Nice pecks? Are you kidding me?” Mike snorted, rolling his eyes as Brooks tired not to take offence.

“Ok fine!” He snapped, finally, before heading back into the living room. “Umm… alright well, it was nice meeting you… I guess we’ll check some references and then get back to you and… ah… let you know… and stuff.”

Aaron nodded, still ridiculously excited as he waved goodbye to Mike and Brooks, telling them, again, how good it was to meet him and offering his number to Brooks… again. “Just to make sure you have it!” Aaron explained as he jotted his cellphone number down on Brooks’ forearm.

Brooks watched him jog down the stairs, his forearm still extended as he stared down at it incredulity. He was about to go back inside the apartment when he saw an older lady coming up the stairs. “Hi! Are you Rosie?” He asked loudly, trying to catch her attention as she slowly climbed her way up the stairs.

“Oh, si, si… Mi nombre es Rosie. La agencia me envió para una entrevista de trabajo…” She said in a grandmother-ish voice.

Brooks stared at her, unsure of what to say. “Ummm… what?” He asked finally as she reached the landing and came to a stop in front of her. She was naturally dark and was only as tall as his chest. “Do you speak English?”

“Oh, si, si…” She said calmly, nodding her head and heading past him into the apartment. “Donde esta el bebe?”

“What the fuck is she saying?” Mike called out from the kitchen, before he appeared a few seconds later.

“Mike! Don’t curse in front of her!” Brooks said sharply, exasperated as he followed the small woman around his apartment.

“She doesn’t know what I’m saying… here let me try this… DO. YOU-O. SPEAK-O. EL ENGLISH-O?” Mike yelled as he came into the living room towards Roise.
She seemed startled, jumping slightly before turning around to smile at Mike. She leaned forward and grabbed his hand, patting him on it before turning back around and starting to pick up the random dishes on the coffee table.

Mike shrugged and watched her carry them into the kitchen before he flopped down on the couch. “Mike, we have to do something!” Brooks groaned as he glanced over his shoulder at the woman. “We can’t hire her and we can’t just let her clean our house when we- hey… she opened the dishwasher!” He said, watching as she opened the door and began to put the dishes in.
Brooks looked back at Mike who was already watching TV, and shrugged at no one in particular before dropping down onto the couch beside him.

He wasn’t sure how much time had actually passed, before he heard the door open and Emily came through with Cosmo. “Dada! Boots!” She squealed as Emily let her down on the floor, and there she hovered on her hands and knees; unable to go anywhere, but strong enough to hold herself up now.

“Hey princess!” Mike called over his shoulder as he threw a wink at her. Brooks stood up and moved towards them, suddenly feeling very awkward about seeing Emily.
It wasn’t like it was a surprise, or that he hadn’t already seen her that day, but he found it had been happening more and more. He could only assume that it had to do with the major change in the dynamics of their relationship.
Sure she was still pretty lame, and annoying at times. Not to mention demanding and degrading when she really got going… but she had also proved to be a valuable ally in the whole ’baby’ thing.

“Hey guys… how did the interviews go?” Emily asked, slightly breathlessly as she dropped Cosmo’s bag onto the ground beside her. “Still two left? Or did you find someone this morning already?”

Brooks groaned inwardly as he remembered that they still had two people coming to the apartment sometime in the evening, but he didn’t answer her; at that moment Rosie was coming back into the room, a hamper of laundry under her arm. “Oh! Ella es Hermosa!” She exclaimed as she caught sight of Cosmo.

“Si! Ella lo consiguio de su padre.” Emily answered back, her voice sure and her accent strong as she switched flawlessly into Spanish.

Brooks and Mike were more surprised than Rosie though, merely watching the two continue to talk with words neither of the boys understood.
They could only assume that Emily was thanking her for her time and explaining to her that there were still more interviews they had to do, cause shortly after Rosie was waving goodbye and smiling at them as she headed down the stairs.

“What was- how do-?” Brooks began but Mike jumped over the couch and into the conversation that was now taking place in the kitchen.

“You speak Spanish?!”

Emily reached down to pick up Cosmo, strapping her into her highchair and heading towards the fridge before she responded. “Yes, I took it in high school. Didn’t you guys have to take a language?”

“No, I played hockey.” Mike said, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.
Emily rolled her eyes and pulled out a glass jar of massed carrots. “And you can’t just do that!” He continued as she moved back towards him, opening the jar and taking a seat in front of Cosmo.

“I can’t do what?”

“Go around like that, all willy nilly… speakin Spanish all over the place!” He yelled, throwing his hands out to the side.
Emily snorted, snapping back at him with some smart-ass remark, but Brooks wasn’t paying attention anymore.

He was leaning against one of the cupboards, watching them bicker; wondering what else he didn’t know about her.

15 comments:

  1. As always, hilarious. My favourite lines:


    He explained simply, watching Cosmo’s face carefully as he spun her around, making sure that there was no fear, before he added, “…and judging by the fact that she laughs at your jokes. We don’t.”
    -Brilliant. I actually laughed out loud for like 30 seconds. Wasn't expecting it at all and it was seriously, gold.

    Apparently Mike noticed too, causing him to cross his arms over his chest as he pouted; apparently unhappy in Aaron’s sudden interest in Brooks
    -OMG, I thought the bromance was too much, too good and then you add jealousy. But seriously, Brooks is hot, if we know, so do the gay guys.

    “She doesn’t know what I’m saying… here let me try this… DO. YOU-O. SPEAK-O. EL ENGLISH-O?” Mike yelled as he came into the living room towards Roise.
    - MIKKKKKE <3

    “We can’t hire her and we can’t just let her clean our house when we- hey… she opened the dishwasher!” He said, watching as she opened the door and began to put the dishes in.
    Brooks looked back at Mike who was already watching TV, and shrugged at no one in particular before dropping down onto the couch beside him.
    - I love their dynamic and love that they still don't know how to open the dishwasher.


    Yes, I took it in high school. Didn’t you guys have to take a language?”
    “No, I played hockey.” Mike said, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.
    -I know people who would answer like this. hilarious.


    Hilarious. I love this story, very different. Can't wait to see where you are taking us.

    Cannot wait for more.

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  2. OMG, that was hilarious!
    I die a littleeverytime I read a new chapter of this story... Do you ever wonder if the guys that these stories are about read them? Could you imaginw what Mike and/or Brooks would say about this? I'd laugh just listening to them read this!

    Great update! Wouldn't expect anything else though*

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  3. Hahahaha "nice pecks" and Mike gets all mad. They're so madly in love those two <3.

    And Rosie haha she was NEVER gonna leave : )

    Brooks watching Emily? Yessssss! Maybe she'll notice him at some point?

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  4. OH!! and Rosie OPENED THE DISHWASHER!!!
    Hahahahahaha

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  5. Quoting the LMFAO moments as I go...

    Apparently Mike noticed too, causing him to cross his arms over his chest as he pouted; apparently unhappy in Aaron’s sudden interest in Brooks.

    “You just want to hire him because he thinks you’re hot!”

    “She doesn’t know what I’m saying… here let me try this… DO. YOU-O. SPEAK-O. EL ENGLISH-O?”

    “We can’t hire her and we can’t just let her clean our house when we- hey… she opened the dishwasher!”

    O.M.F.G. I was cracking up the entire time!!! Especially at the dishwasher part.

    I'm happy there is Spanish! A language I know... kinda... I can read it. Can't write it though, haha. All the French has been throwing me on my ass in other stories. haha.

    Anyways... LOVED it as always. So fucking funny!

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  6. Dearest writing genious,
    Please. update. again. soon.

    Thanks.

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  7. OMG. I love this story so much it hurts when I laugh at every line. This chapter might have been filler but it was very entertaining to read. And I love, love, love Emily. She's such a know it all that she would know spanish. And poor Brooks, he's been overlooking her for so long that he's not gonna know what hit him when he finally sees her for who she is :)

    Loved the update!

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  8. Hahaha nice pecks Brooks... I say hire the abercrombie model to make Mike mad, then realise Emily is a better nanny than he would ever be... sounds like little Cosmo is quite attached to 'Em-me' already... this story is going to be fantastic! :)

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  9. I think they should they should hire Aaron too. Because it's like the gay quotient isn't already high enough in this household.

    Fav line:
    “Look Mike, Einstein didn’t have a DVD. He had a yoyo and dirt..."

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  10. Oh the hilarity! Seriously, every time I read your story, Zigh, I know it's guaranteed to put a smile on my face. The comedy is genius, and it never ends! The Baby Einstein videos, the crack about Cosmo laughing at Mike's jokes and therefore not being a genius--hell, that Einstein only had dirt and a yoyo!<3 Mike only allowing green food in the fridge, and all the exchanges between M&B and Aaron and Rosie. AND THAT ROSIE COULD OPEN THE DISHWASHER. Mike to Emily: "You can't just go around speaking Spanish!" Cosmo calling Mike "Boots"!!!!! Oh dear, I laughed the whole way through.

    Also, love that Cosmo loves Emily.

    But on a more serious note, I'm really curious about why Brooks doesn't know more about when his mother is coming down? Does he not want her to come down anymore? And does that have anything to do with Emily or that Mrs. Laich may want him to not keep Cosmo as his own? I wonder, does Emily have a job and if so, what is it that allows her to be at Brooks's disposal so much? I think she should just become the nanny. I'm willing to bet that there's a LOT Brooks doesn't know about Emily. I can't wait to find out with him what he doesn't know.

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  11. Oh dear god. Hilarity pure hilarity!!! Brooks and Mike's bromance is my new favorite thing ever!!!!!!!! Mike only allows green food in the fridge and both he and Brooks accept that, love it. Rosie can open the dishwasher, Em-me is the cutest thing ever, just about everything with Mike and Brooks is amazing.
    I also agree with Jay, I'm curious about Emily and can't wait to find out(:

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  12. I fucking love these boys and their shenanigans. It DOES NOT get better than Mike Green, ladies and gentlemen. It just does not get any better.

    “If it’s not green, it doesn’t stay in the fridge.”
    ^^I died. LMFAO Mike. I could totally see him doing something quite ridiculous like that.

    And OMG I LOVED his jealous over Aaron's interest in Brooks. Possessive bromance-y feelings galore! I couldn't stop smiling.

    And then Rosie! Ahhh I love that she opened the dishwasher without even batting an eye. And I loved that Emily was able to speak fluent Spanish to her. And I love that Emily is the lifesaver that these boys need.

    I am so curious about her life and I can't wait to see what else we learn about her.

    "Didn’t you guys have to take a language?”
    “No, I played hockey.”
    ^^No idea why, but this made me laugh so much. Ahh Spanish, a language I can actually understand :P

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  13. I think Rosie is hired just for the fact that she is able to open the dishwasher. LMFAO! I about peed my pants.

    Loving this soooo much!!!

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  14. Your story is too hilariously good for you to not update daily! :)

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  15. i hope you are able to update soon. i am so in love with this story!

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